Let’s talk about love…


I have only been in love 3 times…the third time is present life right now. I have dated more than 3 times but it was never love. My first love, my first ever boyfriend. We never fought, it was like a fairy tale relationship. Our relationship was like a married couples…that was the problem. I was in middle school and he was in high school. We ended because we were to young, we didn’t want to hold each other back from all the other stuff we were supposed to experience in life. It destroyed us. I had this painful pit in my stomach for the longest time. It took everything in me to even force myself to eat. It is because we get so used to being with someone every single day we literally don’t no what to do with ourselves. I will never let myself feel that way ever again…it was not fair to myself. That is why when your dating someone have days off. Give yourself a girl day. It is healthy to have a day or two to focus on you! My second love, we were high school sweethearts. A whole 5 years. I never will be that girlfriend that holds your man back from his dream so when he got offered a amazing job opportunity 11 hours away I supported it. I supported his dreams but when it came to mine it was like pulling teeth to even have him do anything I want to do. When he left he became numb with me. We both resented each other. He resented me from not coming and I resented him because I thought how could you just leave me? I make rules for myself when I’m in a relationship. By the end of this relationship I broke every single one of them. It is not okay to be in a relationship but feel so alone. My last and final love. I’m not like most woman I didn’t believe in love at first sight. But BOOM it happened. I saw him and the first thing I thought was I want him mine. His blonde hair, blue eyes, his smile…he drove me insane! We worked together and became good friends. I’m not one who gets all nervous around guys and doesn’t know what to say. But with him I literally felt my heart racing through my chest, my mind would go completely blank, I would stutter and get all sweaty. Like this isn’t me! We had so much in common. He liked photography, sunsets and hiking. Like he can’t be real! Every single time his name would come across my phone I would get so excited. Day made. Every time there was a really nice sunset we would tell each other to go look at it. I was all like OMG when he sees a sunset he thinks of me. Then he got a puppy. I got to meet the puppy and we finally got to hangout. I fell hard. I got to meet the family and completely adored them which is a great plus. We became boyfriend and girlfriend. Oh and of course he became my best friend also. When we first started hanging out more he took me to so many cool places I’ve never been to in my small town. Now with hiking we have been to so many amazing places. He makes me laugh where I physically cannot stop and I’m crying. He’s so goofy and fun. He is growing to love things I love to do to that he never thought he would be doing and it means the world to me. I could ramble on and on about it because I’m smitten but I won’t.

     So here’s my advice when your in a relationship
~If there is red flags in the beginning…run! The beginning of every relationship should be like the honey moon stage. There shouldn’t already be problems.

~If your growing to love their hobbies and their not growing to love yours or at least giving them a chance. It is just selfish and not fair. Do not settle for that. You have to meet in the middle in a relationship.

~Never hold back your feelings. If something is bugging you you have to tell them because one day its gonna make you explode. Plus you should be able to talk to your partner about anything and everything without judgement.

~If your boyfriend keeps doing something that bugs you and you have talked to them about it a million times but nothing has changed. Girl it’s never gonna change.

~Know not to hold grudges with your exes…you once truly did care a lot about them. Know life is way to short to be anything but happy. Know there really is plenty fish in the sea. & girl know your worth! Do NOT be that girl crying over a man every single night…your momma didn’t raise no …..! Yeah you know what I was gonna say…

                                                               …Till next time.

“Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.” -John W. Gardner

Every single thing we buy that involves a set up comes with a user manual…BUT life the most important thing does not. Why would it be that simple? I’m 24 years old and I’m still nowhere close to “having my life together”. It’s funny to think I thought I would have it all figured out at 21 years old! Crazy right? The perfect job, financially stable(HA!), my dream house, planning my wedding, thinking about kids. All of that is ALWAYS on my mind but none of it is happening. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone, not the only one struggling with that crazy thing we call life. There is many thing’s I wish someone warned me that would happen throughout my life…at least I could have sorta prepared myself. No one tells you you’ll lose your 4 high school best friends you were inseparable with. When I say inseparable I mean inseparable…hanging out everyday, them basically living at your house. The worst part is I couldn’t even tell you why we stopped being friends. Did we just grow up? Found other hobbies? I don’t think I will ever know why it happened and I’m sadly coming to terms with that. No one warns you that your perfect family will go through a separation and it will be the hardest thing you will ever go through. But when you mature you realize it was meant to be and you still have your parents…that’s all that matters. No one tells you you will fall in love 2 different other times before you really truly do find the one. No one tells you a car accident that happened about 8 years ago would still be affecting you. No one tells you taking time off before going to College would be one of your biggest regrets. No one tells you that the once aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents you used to see 3 times a week you would end up only seeing about once a year at a funeral for someone else.  I could go on & on. The moral of my story is you’re not alone. It is really rare that someone actually 100% has their life together and if you do…give me some advice! Everyone is going through something in their life right now, their just pulling their selves together so they get through another day of life. If only life came with a manual…